For years I tried to carry the weight of my own guilt thinking that I needed to get myself together before God would accept me. I thought if I had truly accepted Jesus as my Savior, I would somehow be made perfect. So when I wasn’t, I thought I was a total disappointment to God.
As a result of my skewed perception of God and the act of Christ on the cross, I rebelled against Him in ways I’d rather forget. There are actions and activities in my past that I’d prefer stay buried. In fact, I delayed writing publicly for a long time because I was afraid the sins of my past would be exposed.
But living in shame didn’t do me any favors. And carrying the weight of my sin left me broken and discouraged. Even now, when I sin I often carry the guilt and feeling of shame for a period of time proportionate (in my mind) to the crime committed as if somehow that makes what I did or didn’t do less bad.
I need to learn to turn to God right away, seeking His forgiveness rather than hiding.
Because no matter how much guilt we feel or shame we walk in, we cannot heal our own sin.
We are either washed clean by the blood of Christ or His blood leaves us spotted and stained.
Christ either makes us alive in Him or leaves us dead in ourselves.
He is either healing us or leaving us broken.
The Spirit either transforms us into a new creation or abandons us as we are.
We are either forgiven or we’re not.
To embrace the forgiveness the Father extends to us, we must choose to run to Him when we sin rather than sinking into ourselves. Our God is a God who breaks down barriers. He created us. He loves us. And He calls us to Himself, transforming our hearts every step of the way.
We are not the people we were before. We have been made new by the power of Holy Spirit living in us, transforming us every minute of every day of the rest of our lives.
For me, choosing forgiveness looks like embracing:
Healing from anger.
Deliverance from anxiety.
Being washed clean of sin and shame.
Because God exists outside of time and is therefore not only in our past but in our future, there is a healed version of us standing with God in His restored Kingdom.
We can choose right now to live under the curse or into the promise of eternity.
We are forgiven.
We are free.
We are made new.
We are clean.
We are being healed.
We walk, live, and breathe into the person God created us to be. We are most ourselves when we step into the identity Christ conquered death to redeem.
Spirit help us choose to believe we are forgiven, even when the enemy accuses us with our past.
Grant us the grace to believe we are clean even when we are reminded of our stains.
Help us believe we are new and we are being healed when we feel old and broken.
Comfort us and lead us to freedom when life seems to box us in.
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”2 Corinthians 5:17-21
How has God delivered you? How is He healing you? Where is He calling you to take another step toward Him today?