More Than Stories

Growing up I heard about people doing daily devotions and reading the Bible. They talked about how important it was to them and how much closer they felt to God. But when I tried it, the words fell flat. I picked verses at random, often just opening to a page, expecting it to speak to me. I wanted the Bible to be magic, containing some spell I could read to produce a desired effect. But I didn’t find magic. I found stories I’d heard a thousand times growing up to be uninspiring and much of the Old Testament seemed tedious and boring.

And then there were all the rules. All I saw in the stories was failure. I read over and over how people failed, how they could never please God. I found the words cold and condemning because I didn’t understand Grace. The Word can’t penetrate a heart with walls, a heart afraid of a God who can’t be pleased.

My fear kept me from connecting with the love of God contained on those pages.

But something changed when I came the end of myself, weeping in an ugly mess on my bedroom floor, and realized that God told us stories about our own failure so we could see His faithfulness. 

The entire Bible is God’s loving call to surrender. He tells us stories of the many ways He has rescued humanity and broken, fallen people so we will trust Him. He gives us boundaries to live by to guard our hearts from evil. And He sent His Son so He could save us from the consequence of our sin – death and separation from our Creator.

I challenge us all to read the words with new eyes, with a new heart. Let the Spirit speak.

“For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.”

Hebrews 4:12

The Bible isn’t meant to be something we go to only when we have a need, because if we’re honest, we always have need. Instead, it’s intended to be our daily bread, the food that feeds us in the day to day moments that aren’t so outstanding, but can be transformed when God speaks through His Word.

Bible reading builds a firm foundation for when our world is rocked. We will find the promises will come to mind in times of crisis and we’ll know where to find the passages that spoke peace into our hearts before. 

God speaks the loudest for me when I’m in His Word. Specific passages confirm promises, deliver peace, and shout out conviction. 

Any reading is better than none. And there are still times when I don’t understand. Now I just shrug my shoulders and either say to God, “I have no idea what that means” or “ God, please help me understand.”

Let’s open our Bible’s today. Read a chapter or an entire book. Find an unfamiliar passage from a place we haven’t explored before. Write down the words and verses that stand out. 

Holy Spirit, open our understanding of the Word of God. Breathe new life into the ancient words. Let us meet you in the pages and find you in the stories. Speak to us and call us forward in your love. Empower us to take another step of faith toward You today. Amen. 

Here are a few of the verses that have jumped out at me lately:

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”

John 14:27

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.”

Isaiah 43:12

“Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”

Ephesians 3:20-21

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
   Though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
    though its waters roar and foam, 
    Though the mountains tremble at its swelling.”

Psalms 46:1-3

“But you, God see the trouble of the afflicted; you consider their grief and take it in hand. The victims commit themselves to you; you are the helper of the fatherless.”

Psalms 10:14 NIV

Not Feelin’ It

My husband’s been traveling a lot lately which has left me alone. Well, not actually alone. I think alone would probably be better. I’ve been home 5-6 days at a time with our two kids and a new dog. There have been times where I’ve felt completely overwhelmed, short-tempered, and less than loving. I’d find myself easily irritated, giving harsh answers, and quick to start yelling instead of problem-solving with my kids and the dog.

As I was doing dishes on one of the days, God whispered to me, “Put praise music on.” And I answered, “But I don’t feel like it. Can’t you see I’m unhappy and stressed out? Not now.” 

But God doesn’t take no for an answer – at least not with me. He whispered again, “Put praise music on.” I wanted to scream back at Him, “Look, our dog just peed on the floor – again. The kids are fighting. I’m already worried about my busy day at work tomorrow. And I have to get stuff done so I can get all of us to bed!” I was frustrated and in a funk. I just want to sit in it, maybe wallow in self-pity for a minute. 

How I feel
What I’m doing

But God calls us to step into Him and out of ourselves. I was convicted of the need to praise Him simply because he is worthy, not because I feel like it’s a good time for me. 

I wrote last week about how God is Worthy of Praise. Part of that was inspired by my experiences during my husband’s recent absence.

When the music comes on, my spirit is instantaneously soothed. Singling out God’s praise has a way of changing my emotions and talking me down from the stress ledge I love to stand on. Praising God helps put us back in our place in relationship to God. It reminds us who He is and of His faithfulness – despite our circumstances. It doesn’t always change the situation, but it changes how we think about it and how we think affects how we feel. It doesn’t make the situation less difficult, painful, or bad, but it changes us.

I was reminded of two stories from the Bible about people praising God in the midst of bad situations. Now I’m not comparing situations here. I’m comparing feelings and God’s worthiness despite our circumstances.

Paul and Silas were preaching the Gospel in the city of Phillippi and delivered a slave girl from demon possession. Her master wasn’t too happy with them so the officials of the city had them beaten and put in jail. Here’s what I would be doing if it happened to me: I’d be muttering under my breath, crying in pain, and telling everyone how God had abandoned me. At this point I really should own up to the fact that when reading the Bible I most closely identify with the Israelites constantly complaining while wandering in the desert and with Job’s wife (Job 2:9). Not flattering, but it’s the truth. Paul and Silas, on the other hand, were singing and praising God:

“About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them, and suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken. And immediately all the doors were opened, and everyone’s bonds were unfastened.”

Acts 16:25-26

Praising God changed the situation for Paul. The doors literally opened because of the intensity of their prayer and praise while imprisoned.

When on the run from Saul, David wrote some of his most moving Psalms. In them, he cries out for God to save him. But he also praises God, acknowledging that only God has the power to change his circumstances and preserve his life. 

“In God, whose word I praise, in the Lord, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me? I must perform my vows to you, O God; I will render thank offerings to you. For you have delivered my soul from death, yes, my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of life.”

Psalm 56:10-13

David’s circumstances eventually changed, but certainly not right away.

Our circumstances will change.

Our feelings will change.

We cannot neglect praising God just because we’re not in the mood. Perhaps praise is the remedy for our feelings. I’d suggest God wants to break down our walls, deliver us from our enemies, and deepen our relationship with Him through praising His Name. 

“I will bless the Lord at all times;    his praise shall continually be in my mouth.
My soul makes its boast in the Lord;
    let the humble hear and be glad.
Oh, magnify the Lord with me,
    and let us exalt his name together!”

Psalm 34:1-3

And those people who seem to have peace in all circumstances? It’s probably because they’ve learned to praise in all circumstances. I wish I could be a role model on this one, but I’m not. We’re working on it.

At the end of the day I was still alone listening to an anxious dog howl out of loneliness and anxiety instead of falling asleep. But I had a sense of God’s bigness and His ability to see me in all of my life’s circumstances. And even though I still didn’t sleep, I knew He was with me.

So I’ll praise, I’ll pray, I’ll read his Word – even if I’m not feelin’ it.

Put some worship music on. Lift your hands. And let’s give glory to our Creator – even if we’re not feeling it – yet.

This song has been playing on repeat in my house over the last few weeks. It reminds me to praise God in all circumstances, regardless of my feelings. 

Worthy of Praise

I’m a person who likes to get things done. I like to know where I’m going and what I need to do. I feel lost and anxious when I don’t have a clear path before me or a specific calling I can step into each day. Sometimes I get so caught up in the next step and trying to find out where God is going that I forget that my true purpose in life is to bring Him glory.

No matter where I am or how I feel. Whether I’m riding high or falling apart, God is still God. And He deserves to be praised.

“Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom.”

Psalm 145:3 NIV

When I pray and even when I praise, I often focus on what God can do. I list off all the ways I would love to see Him work both in my life and the lives of the people around me. But what He desires is for me to take the focus off what He’s doing or what He will do, and focus instead on who He is. He deserves our praise simply because He is God. He is the Creator. He is the everlasting God. The King of kings and Lord of lords. 

But I struggle to find the words to praise Him. Sometimes they just sound hollow to me or like I’m copying someone else. I find when it’s hard to find words it’s always best to go to the Word. Since He allows us in the throne room, to stand in His very Presence (Hebrews 4:16), why not start by joining the chorus that stretches to infinity in both directions:

“Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come!”

Revelation 4:8b

Sometimes I just whisper under my breath, “Holy, holy, holy,” repeating it over and over. I need to remind myself of who He is and who I am in Him. 

I came across a quote years ago, and I can’t find it’s origin, but when I find myself tired from trying to cross everything off my endless to-do list, it comes back to mind:

“Don’t get so busy doing that you have no time for being.”

Life is busy. I’m frequently restless and searching for the next thing. I have work, family, friendship, and church responsibilities. As I accomplish one task, it seems to multiply into four more. But often all He wants from me is to be still and stop to recognize His greatness, His power, His worthiness.

He calls me to take the time I could be using to get things done and use it instead to glorify Him with my words, my songs, and my presence of mind. It’s hard to sit still. It’s hard to focus. But there is no One more worthy of our efforts than the God who created us, the God who saved us. 

I like to put worship music on, and if I get that elusive moment alone, I close my eyes, raise my hands, and sing praises to my Lord and King. 

Rest in His Presence for a moment. Stand in awe of His power and fall down with gratitude for the mercy and grace extended at the cross. Sing! Raise your hands. Give Him the glory He deserves. I’ll join you. The Church joins you. We sing His praises together in a holy chorus of delivered people, created for fellowship with the Creator. He is good.

“To the King of the ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever, Amen.”

1 Timothy 1:17

Can God Be Trusted?

One of the biggest barriers in my relationship with God is trusting His way is better than mine. I have and still struggle with the fear that if I completely surrender, if I let Him take over and act according to His ways and His plans instead of my own, God will somehow hurt me. I struggle to trust that God is good and He can be trusted with the one thing I hold closest – my life.

Back in 2008, my husband Chad and I bought our first house in the Black Hills neighborhood of Grand Rapids, Michigan. We’d been volunteering with a tutoring ministry for over a year and we fell in love with the neighborhood and the kids who lived there. 

The first day we walked through our house there was a stream running through our basement. 

It was just the beginning of more than two years of our house falling apart and us putting it back together. We spent tens of thousands of dollars repairing almost every square inch of that house. If there was something that could go wrong, it did. We had water leaks, wood rot, termites, electrical problems, and on and on and on.

Though I’m smiling in this picture, I can assure you painting ceilings is one of my least favorite things.

My fears seemed to be realized. We were honoring God by moving there, by serving there, and He gave us endless problems, draining our bank account and our energy. I was angry, anxious, depressed, overwhelmed, and lonely. I blamed God for our situation. I began to believe He couldn’t be trusted, that He was an angry and vindictive God. 

Problem was, everything that was happening to us was so far out of my control that I couldn’t do anything about it. I couldn’t fix where we were physically and I couldn’t fix myself emotionally or spiritually. I came undone one night, weeping and falling into a heap on the floor. I’d found the end of myself and it’s an experience I’ll never forget. Because although that night I told God I didn’t believe in Him, I realize now that He’s never been closer to me than in the moment of my greatest pain and failure. 

Only when I finally gave in because I had nothing left could I see God’s faithfulness. Only living through an experience where I reached the end of my human capacity could I learn about trusting God. 

There is a poem in the book of Isaiah that speaks to God’s trustworthiness:

“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.”

Isaiah 26:3-4

He is an everlasting rock. He does not move. He does not change. He is constant and He cares for us. 

Through that experience, I found that God is faithful. He is faithful to join me in the pain of my own futility by hanging on a cross. A God who is faithful like that, who walks with me, redeems me, restores me – that God can be trusted. 

God, teach us to trust in You both when we have it all together and when we’re falling apart. Amen.

Thy Will Be Done

Our family has been traveling through a season of decisions lately. Between work and home, we’ve been addressing each new issue as it comes. And with each situation, each decision to be made, we must choose either our will or God’s. Because even the smallest decisions about the smallest situations can have a ripple effect on our lives. 

When Jesus taught us to pray, He said:

“In this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name.Thy Kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth, as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Thine is the Kingdom, and the power and the glory for ever. Amen.”

Matthew 6:9-13 (KJ21)

“Thy will be done.” What an incredible phrase! It means surrendering our will, giving up our autonomy and independence. “Thy will” means acknowledging He is God and we are not. It’s choosing to put the right order of the world, the order of authority back in place. Praying “Thy will” is choosing to believe the Master and His Master plan not only for our lives but for the whole world. 

And I want God in my whole life, all of it. I want Him to be everywhere in me and everywhere in my life. My desire is for all our decisions to honor Him.

When we bought our house two years ago, we chose a house with more bedrooms than our current family of four will ever need. We picked this house in order to hold more children that we have because God told us He would expand our family. When? I don’t know. But I do know our extra bedroom has been filled with temporary guests who have blessed and encouraged our family by staying with us.

Everything we do and say; every decision we make, all of it needs to honor Him. Our lives and our beings are designed to honor God and every piece and part was created to point to Him.

I’m not always good at it though. When our dog passed away recently, our kids wanted to get a new dog the next day. But Chad and I wanted to wait a bit. Because we wanted to make sure we got the right dog for our family. We both combed Petfinder looking for the perfect dog for our family. We had our list of requirements and went to meet the first dog. He seemed perfect. And our kids loved him. But we didn’t get him. And we were disappointed. Chad and I told the kids that it must not have been the dog for us and that God would help us find the right one.

Following God can be disappointing. Because He is greater and His will includes the whole world, we may not understand His reasoning. A dog may seem like a small disappointment but I assure you our kids didn’t feel that way. 

Then came the next dog. We met with him but neither Chad nor myself were feeling the connection. We were about to tell the lady fostering the dog that it just wasn’t a match and we were going to leave when she brought out another dog. This one was happy, licking faces and greeting the entire family. She wasn’t the dog we came for but she’s the one we brought home.

But I was uneasy about her. She was younger than I wanted, a little bigger than I wanted, and I wasn’t sure how it was going to go with our cat. I wrestled with anxiety for two days, more anxious than I’ve been for a long time worrying about the new responsibility and whether she would be the right fit for our family.

Turns out she’s been great. She has an amazing temperament and a fun personality. She gives kisses and lets our daughter give her hugs.

It wasn’t my plan. But here she is.

They named her Peanut

I long to be able to truly let go, to let God into every decision I make. Because the only way to get closer to God is to step into surrender. 

God is not overwhelmed by our need, even when we pray about the little things. He cares about the little things. Otherwise he wouldn’t have this to say about worry:

“Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered.”

Luke 12:7a

He cares about Every. Single. Hair. on our heads, however many or few that may be at a given moment. There is nothing and no decision too small for Him. A string of surrendered decisions leads to incredible unity with God while a string of rebellious decisions will inevitably lead to separation.

We honor Him when we turn to Him for help, guidance, and authority. That’s why He gave us the Spirit, to be our Helper and guide:

“When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.”

John 16:13

A step toward God is a step in the direction of surrender.

Heaven will feel more like home if we learn to come under His authority here and now. 

We will take what He gives and give what He takes.

Let’s not pretend God is a giver only.

And he said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”

Job 1:21

Open hands. Open hearts. Surrender.

All for His glory.

What does a surrender look like in your life? Is there a decision you’re facing that you need to give over to God in prayer? Consult His Word, pray with a spirit ready to listen for His leading. And when God leads you in a different direction, choose to trust His will over yours. 

Children of God

There is so much division and dissension in the world today. It’s even found its way into the Church. We have so many ways we can separate ourselves, so many identities and labels to try on in order to define ourselves. But finding our own way and pursuing our own paths has left a trail of emptiness, confusion, and disillusionment.

God calls us to unity. He calls us to love. And He calls us His own. 

We are not our vocation. We are not our calling.

We are not defined by our baggage, our circumstances, or our good works. 

We are children of God: adopted, anointed, chosen.

We are a royal priesthood: righteous, accepted, and holy. 

We are covered by the blood of Jesus.

We are loved.

And no matter the season we find ourselves in, whether in activity or rest, being stretched or being restored, we are instructed to walk with our God.

Wherever we go. However we feel. However we’ve missed the mark. 

When we turn to Him, we will always find forgiveness and faithfulness.

The ultimate call of this life is to pursue Jesus, to embrace our identity as His child and run toward Him. We must abide, with eyes on Him, whatever the cost.

We can only find our purpose once we accept our identity.

We are all made in the image of God and the door to the Kingdom is open. All we have to do is step through. 

Have you placed your identity in Christ? If not, I’d like to pray with you now:

Father, we draw near to you embracing our inheritance as your daughters. Teach us your ways as we walk through this life with You. Help us to hear your voice. We are listening. Hold us in Your love. Save us with Your grace. And free us to do good works in Your Name. Thank you for rescuing us. In the name of Jesus, Amen.

Marching Together in Victory

Last Sunday my husband and I were on the prayer team and our pastor called people up for prayer who wanted more of the Holy Spirit. As people were walking up I was thinking people should be flooding the aisles of church, asking for prayer, for power, for anointing, for healing. But I wondered if I’d be in line if I weren’t already standing up front. 

Sometimes I feel like the Church is full of worn and weary soldiers on day six of marching around Jericho. Do we realize we are on the brink of victory if we will just keep walking? If we have faith to blow the horn and shout the victory, the walls will fall?

Life is hard. It is dangerous. We have a real enemy and evil does run rampant on the earth. But we are called to stand and fight not cower and complain. We are commanded to be bold not fearful. Whenever our enemy accuses or tries to take us out, we don’t need to be afraid. For He has already won the victory. 

“But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”

1 Corinthians 15:57

And there is nothing we can do or that can happen to us that will ever separate us from the love of God.

“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Romans 8:38-39

We are His. We are free. And He gives us power to not only overcome sin but to overcome the enemy.

We are ineffective if we are isolated, licking our wounds in the corner.

An army’s power is in working together toward a common goal. There is strength in numbers and in unity of purpose.

A battalion of believers, bonded and secure, is Satan’s worst nightmare.

I was weak, ineffective, and afraid until I joined my own little battalion of women – women who journey together; sharing secret struggles, old wounds, fears of the past and the future, who pray for each other and each other’s families. This group of women, when they ask, “How are you doing?” really mean, “Do we need to find a private place to talk?” Our unit has banded together to march forward claiming victory for each of us. We are strong because our spirits are bonded by the Spirit who dwells in each of us and because we hold each other up when we are weak. Together we are a formidable force against the powers of the enemy.

I also have a husband who believes in my dreams and holds me accountable, even if it means staying up until midnight Tuesday to finish the post. A healthy, united marriage, where struggles and victories are shared, is another daunting weapon against evil. 

Shame’s only power is in darkness. When we share our weakness, our struggles, and our sin with other Christians, they lose their power to hold us back.

I am not special. These relationships should not be exceptional. But they are intentional and they come at a cost. Time, energy, risk – this is the cost of warrior relationships. But the benefits are too numerous to count – acceptance, friendship, love, strength, purpose…

We need to care for our wounded, lifting them up both in sincere prayer and practical assistance. A struggling brother or sister should be met with compassion not judgment. 

If you are not healed, keep asking. Not just God. Ask other believers to agree with you for healing. 

If you are scared, surround yourself with the love of other believers.

If you are weak, join hands with your brothers and sisters in worship; link arms, praise our God together. He is good and we will find strength when we stand with other believers.

Choose to believe Christ has already won the war, death and evil have been defeated. Link arms with our brothers and sisters in Christ and fight until the battle is over.

Take your place in His army, marching forward, retaking ground for the Kingdom. He gives us the weapons to fight (Ephesians 6:10-18) and gifts to share (1 Corinthians 12:8-11). 

Stand in victory today. Live in victory every day you have left on this earth.

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

John 16:33

God, strengthen our relationships with our brothers and sisters in Christ. Fortify and equip us for battle. Drive out our fear of being known, of being exposed. Cover us with the cleansing blood of you Son, Jesus Christ and fill us with the peace of your Spirit. Let us fight together until the day You return of call us Home.

Our Weakness, His Strength

I was afraid to become a mother. I didn’t want to be a bad mom, not just because I was afraid to fail or something like that – I was afraid of myself. I was angry and cynical. I had a bad temper and a short fuse. I struggled with anxiety and insomnia, worrying to the point of nausea and panic attacks. 

So before we had kids, I made a list of traits and values I wanted to pass on to our kids and those I wanted to leave behind. I’d processed through a lot of my anger and guilt with the help of two different therapists. Yet when I had our son, I found it wasn’t enough. As he grew out of the baby stage and into toddlerhood, I found it more difficult to be a good mom. He was willful and disobedient at times. And I couldn’t make him do what I wanted. The old familiar shame and guilt crept in every time I lost my temper. I felt like I was failing, like those traits and values from my pre-motherhood list that I wanted to leave behind were catching up to me and affecting my relationship with our son. 

I couldn’t will myself to be a better person, no matter how hard I tried or how much I wanted it. 

Everything in me wanted to be a good mom. I just didn’t have the temperament or the skills. God was gracious to me in showing me my weakness. Holy Spirit convicted me of my shortcomings and spurred me on to not only learning how to be a better mom, but to draw closer to Jesus in order to become more like Him.

God turned this anxious and angry woman into a mother. It wasn’t just learning tools to be a better parent, He made me a new person. Slowly His Spirit has been remodeling my heart, transforming me and giving me the heart of a mother.

This past week two mom’s trusted me to mother their kids so they could be camp counselors for other girls. It’s a job I would have been terrified of a few years ago and wouldn’t have even considered. Because I knew myself well enough to know that I didn’t have the patience, the steady temperament, or the skills to handle the stress when it came. And stress is guaranteed when caring for three young children. 

When I felt the frustration building and my propensity for being overwhelmed started knocking at the door, I could take a deep breath and pause to consider the tools I carried and what might be right for the situation. And when something didn’t work, I could breathe again and go a different way. I have a peace during times of stress I didn’t have before. I don’t always react the way I wish I would, but I can feel there is a pause before reacting that gives me an extra moment to choose the better way. Where I was once easily overwhelmed and frustrated, I felt clarity of mind. Circumstances that at one time would have sent me running sparked compassion and drew me in closer.

God gave me a word recently that my hands were created for nurturing and encouragement. The hands of a woman who was once discouraged and critical, He has reshaped, reformed, and given a new purpose for building His kingdom.

God uses our weaknesses to showcase His strength. He places us in situations where He knows we will fail in the strength of our flesh so we can learn to trust in His divine strength. I saw many people last week, who were exhausted from lack of sleep, still pouring out into the campers. They gave everything they had in their own strength to serve God’s precious children. And God honored their sacrifice by pouring His own power into their hands, feet, and bodies so they could continue to serve.

Our God is amazing! There is no one too far away, no one beyond the reach of the redemption accomplished on the cross (See: A Letter to the Lost). He can transform any heart, giving it new purpose. He will take the weakness we offer at the altar and make it into strength to succeed at doing His good works in the world.

Where human strength falls short, God shows up and provides.

He is there when we’re too tired, when we’re discouraged, when we’re on the brink of failure. He wants us to live in our places of weakness, to serve in our places of weakness so His strength will be a testimony not only for us but for those around us. 

Do I still struggle? Of course I do! It’s my weakness. And it keeps me running back to God for strength.

Don’t let “I’m not good at that” or “I could never do that” stop you.

His power is made perfect in weakness.

Why We Need Prayer Partners

Years ago, my husband and I moved into a house in the Black Hills neighborhood of Grand Rapids, Michigan. We quickly realized we were in over our heads. The basement leaked. A window on the second floor was leaking water into the ceiling of our kitchen. The deck was falling off the house. And on and on.

I was discouraged but didn’t want anyone to know. I kept smiling telling people I was all right, that everything was fine. But nothing was fine. A war had been started in my soul and I didn’t want to tell anyone because I was ashamed, thinking maybe we were being punished or that we were just plain foolish for buying a broken house.

Slowly, slowly I found myself falling away from the faith. We had friends, but none I felt I could share such a deeply personal, hurtful, and what I thought was a shameful struggle.

But we aren’t meant to travel alone. I’ve talked about how important it is to be connected (See: Created for Connection) and last week about having Christian friends (See: The Importance of Christian Friends) but I feel it’s also important to discuss what it means to have a prayer partner.

Just before Jesus was arrested He prayed for His disciples and all those who would come to believe in Him through their words, you and me. He longed for them to be united because only through unity could they spread the Gospel message throughout the world. He prayed to His Father:

“The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me.”

John 17:22-23

Having a prayer partner is about unity in the Body of Christ. It’s about sharing and bearing one another’s burdens to preserve the faith and to spread the gospel. A prayer partner is more than a friend. They are someone who is trustworthy even with issues of the most sensitive nature. Prayer partners catch us when we’re falling, even if it’s just a slip. They remind us of God’s faithfulness, sharing tears and lifting prayers in our time of need. Prayer partners rejoice and celebrate with us in our victories, knowing that a victory for us is a victory for them and the Body of Christ.

A prayer partner is someone we trust with our lives – trust to listen without judgment and to celebrate without jealousy. They are the people who when they say they will pray for us, we know they actually will. They are the people we can message early in the morning and late at night, knowing that our urgent concerns are their urgent concerns and the prayers will start as soon as they are requested.

A couple Sundays back a friend approached me just prior to the service. She asked for prayer just for all the craziness of life and swirling in her mind. I didn’t wait. During the first song, I prayed she would find healing through the worship. I prayed she would find comfort in the message. And I prayed she would feel the strength of my prayers, agreeing with her in her time of need.

I partnered with her on that Sunday. And she has partnered with me countless times, lifting up my prayers as if they were her own.

Finding a prayer partner is risky. It means being vulnerable and putting yourself and your weakness out there for another believer. It will hurt, the first time. Maybe the second time too. Only because it’s a break with our tendency to hold everything inside, to pretend our life is perfect, and that we don’t struggle. We may get burned a time or two, finding that person who can give and take, hold us up and hold us back when needed.

But it will be worth it. Jesus prayed for us to have people we can journey with. It is His desire for us to find other sisters and brothers in Christ who we can unite with in the fight.

I pray you have found the person or people who you can unite with as prayer partners. If not, I pray you will risk the pain to find the comfort of another believer who has your back.

Jesus, free us from our self-consciousness and our desire to appear perfect. Give us the strength to dive deep in relationship with other believers. May we risk vulnerability to find others who can partner with us, giving us strength for the journey. In Your Holy Name we pray, amen.

The Importance of Christian Friends

Just over two years ago, I decided to take a leap of faith in developing new friendships at our church. We’d been attending for a few years (yes, you read that right) but I didn’t feel connected to the women of the church, even after attending a few ladies events. I was friendly with women, but I longed for a deeper connection. So I hosted an IF:Local in my home. Two other ladies attended. We laughed. We cried. We listened, learned, and prayed together. And at the end of the day, I found myself journeying with them rather than just alongside them. One of them challenged me to attend the annual ladies retreat where women from different churches gathered to learn and grow together. After traveling to Maryland and back from Michigan in a 15 passenger van, I found myself deeply connected to other women from our church.

I believe we were meant to connect with other people, especially other believers (See: Created for Connection). We are called to be the Body, not living in isolation. Christian friends offer us a place of rest, hold us accountable, and are there to walk with us on our journey with Christ. Church starts to feel like home and the people there feel more like family than friends.

All good friends can laugh and cry with us, but there’s one thing that sets Christian friends apart from all other friends. It is this: They see us through the eyes of grace.

Christian friends know we are not defined by our past or present struggles but that we are a new creation in Christ. This difference in perception allows us to be completely open and honest, vulnerable with each other, knowing that we will receive love instead of judgment. It means we can confess both our old sins and the ones we wrestle with now because Christian friends are there to hold up our arms in the battle.

Proverbs speaks about friendship like this:

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”

Proverbs 17:17

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another”

Proverbs 27:17

Our Christian friends can speak truth into our lives that other friends cannot. They can help spur us on toward our godly destiny because they know the God who created us. And they can commune with us spirit to spirit because the Holy Spirit dwells in both our souls.

Christian friends hold a worldview unique to the adopted children of God. They believe the impossible is possible for both themselves and their friends. And when we speak impossible dreams, they can join us, believing that nothing is impossible for God (Luke 1:37).

If you find yourself in a situation like me a few years ago, where you attend church but don’t feel like you have the deep friendships you crave, I encourage you to take 3 steps:

  1. Find the women’s ministries in your church and attend an event or two. If there is no women’s ministry, maybe you should start one.
  2. All friendships involve risk and vulnerability. Put yourself out there. Talk with someone after church. Get to know someone new.
  3. Invite other women out for coffee, or even better, into your home. I honestly believe there is no better way to dive deep into friendship with other women than by inviting them into your personal space.

Trust me when I say I’m an introvert and hate small talk and awkward conversation. Which is why I was alone in a church full of women for years. But somehow taking the simple but drastic step to invite them into my world opened a whole new realm of friendship I may never have accessed otherwise.

If you’re already plugged in, diving deep with other women in your life, reach out to them today and let them know how much their friendship means to you. Make plans to see each other…soon. Life can be busy, but there’s always time for a good friend.

Stay tuned for next week when we talk about Why We Need Prayer Partners.