I know a little girl who feels alone in her school. There are lots of mean girls there, girls who pick and prod, until this little girl feels she has to fight to get the teasing to stop. Some would say she has behavior issues and may put a negative label on her. But I know this little girl. I know her heart. She is sweet and kind. She cares for her siblings and everyone around her. She sees into people’s hearts but she needs another little girl to see into hers. So we pray for “one good friend” for her, as another friend of mine says.
I know a boy, a young man really, who needs a job. He’s applied and applied but received no answers. He needs someone to see past the paper, to the man who needs an income. I know many people actually, who have sent out resume after resume and filled out too many applications only to be rejected repeatedly. Being repeatedly rejected takes a toll on the human soul. They need HR representatives who see potential and read between the lines of worldly qualifications.
I know wives who feel alone in their marriages, who don’t feel seen or appreciated by their husbands; women who are sad and angry because they feel like godly submission has tricked them into being the workhorse of the marriage but never being recognized. They need husbands with open eyes, who can look down from their projects, their phones, and their own worries long enough to connect with their wives.
I know husbands who feel like their wives are rooting against them, like they’re on separate teams in the same game. These men want to be seen for their leadership and dedication, for their sacrifice.
We all need to be seen by the people around us. We crave connection, recognition, and praise. We all need someone in our lives who sees past the front we display down to our core. That person who sees us as we could be and not who we are.
We want to know our worth.
Our worth is first and foremost dictated by God, who loved and valued humankind so much He sent His Son to suffer death for us (See: A Letter to the Lost). But it is most certainly reinforced by those around us.
I was reading the love chapter in 1 Corinthians 13 again the other day. I remembered once hearing someone suggest placing our own name wherever love is mentioned. I started, “Meg is patient.” Stop! I am not patient. In fact I’m probably well known in some circles (read, my family) as being very impatient. And in light of the stories above, and the people I know, including myself, who just need someone to believe in their worth, I was convicted of my own role in the dysfunction. How can I communicate worth and encourage connection with my children and husband if I’m always tapping my foot with my arms crossed because they aren’t fast enough for me? What am I saying about them when my language is irritable and resentful?
But before I could beat myself up too much, God reminded me who I am in Christ. He sees me for who I can be. He believes I can be like Him, that one day I’ll be able to put my name in the love chapter without conviction or guilt. He whispers grace in my ear and speaks freedom from condemnation.
If my Father believes in me, I can do anything. In fact,
“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”Philippians 4:13
Reach out to someone today. Tell them you see them, you believe in them, you love them. Be the connection they need in that moment. Because we weren’t created to travel alone. We were created for connection.